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The Bloodthirsty Beast of Bimblespottin Wood


’What is troubling you, Merribanks? You look most frightfully distressed, much akin to Monsieur Cuddles, when he’s struggling to succeed in his copulatory exploits with Madame Cuddles.’

Merribanks stuttered. ‘In complete honesty, Sir, some of the servants have been concerned regarding a mysterious beast running amok in your woodlands.’

I furrowed my brows, both expressing my confusion and showing off my resplendent eyebrows. These young whippersnappers have such exuberant imaginations. A beast? In my neck of the woods?

’Preposterous!’ I declared, spitting over Merribanks’ new hat. ‘This isn’t the Stone Age. We have no dinosaurs in modern-day England, you pompous fool!’

‘I believe the dinosaurs came way before the Stone Age, Sir’, Merribanks quipped, ‘but we insist, Sir, please, can we do something about that monster? It frightens us all, we hear it howling so every night.’

‘Howling? Nonsense! It is no doubt Mr Watersby and his troublesome bowels causing such monstrosities, but I concede. Let us go examine the woodlands tonight, and meet this devilish creature you are so eager to discover.’

’B-but Sir, meaning no disrespect Sir, but it seems going into the woodlands at night would be most dangerous—’

’Nonsense, Merribanks!’ I grinned, recovering my trusty cane, ‘what could possibly go wrong?’

This is the first of a series of stories I have written, involving poor Merribanks and Bimblespottin in their Blackadderesque adventures.

These stories got a great reception in my creative writing seminars at uni, so I’d love to continue developing them here! I also think it’d be a great idea if people sent in scenarios they would like to see the characters in, and for me to compose stories based off of those ideas, so feel free to message or comment any ideas you have ^0^

Expect to see the second story soon! 🙂


Copyright © 2016 Rebecca Sherratt